BBQ at Lee Hazlewood's
My old friend Lee Hazlewood called me up today to ask if I might come by his place this afternoon and have a Barbecue. At first I made excuses and said that I'd had kind of a rough week, and I didn't much feel like partying, he just told me "Don't jus' hide from life like a sceared rabbit. You aught a come down here an cheer up. We'll have a real groovy time". He finally wore me down, and once I ran out of excuses I had agreed to come up to his ranch house up in the hills.
Once I arrived at his house the day had reached it's infernous peak, and the stone path that led through his well manicured rock garden to his front door seemed more like a yellow brick road to Hell. I was greeted at the Door by his house keeper Inez, who directed me to Lee's private air-conditioned screening room where he was watching Ingmar Bergman's Persona. "Only one way to beat the damn heat on a day like this, you gotta watch Swedish films, and watch those Swedish ladies that are as cool as a tall glass of water". I added that the air-conditioning helped a little too. The screening room seated about 20, and in one corner there were a couple of women. They were the type of women that over the years I'd grown accustomed to seeing at Lee's house, big hair, big tits, and a lot of makeup. One was wearing a knit bikini and practicing on the guitar. Her name was Renee. She stopped her playing and looked up at Lee from under her fake eyelashes. " Lee, Tina and I just wrote a song about this movie. Would you like to hear it? It's called 'Bibi and my Dumb Baby'". "I wrote the lyrics, Lee" Tina chirped in. "Not yet Sugar". Lee replied. "I gotta get Derek and I a couple drinks and make sure supper is comin' along"
He took me in the back yard, to show off the Wig-Wam he had built over the summer. The heat was almost unbearable. It wasn't much cooler in the Wig-Wam but he had a beer cooler installed so we sat in there for awhile drinking beer, and he played me a couple songs on his guitar. One of them, he told me, he learned it from a Navaho Chief, but the lyrics "Your Papa sodomized Mia" made me think he was lying.
Lee barbecued some burgers on a little hibachi. They were great! Ann Margaret showed up after awhile, but she didn't eat because her numerologist told her never to eat on days with the number seven in them. She was really nice, we talked about the last time we met in Pioneer Place, outside the Claire's accessories. She agreed that it was unbearably hot out so she took off her leotard. Lee undressed as well but he found some charming western costumes and decided he could only wear the holster, cowboy hat and boots. I stayed in my underwear. We all laughed, and then I took these pictures.
Nancy Sinatra stopped by, but she quickly made an excuse and left once she saw Ann (they've been feuding since Nancy starred in Spinout with Elvis, and Ann recorded that album with Lee). I gave Nancy a brief kiss on the cheek and told her we could get together and have a cup of coffee and take some pills soon.
It began to cool down, and Ann passed out from malnutrition. We had her driver pick her up and take her home.As the sun began to go down casting long shadows across the lawn and down the hills, Lee and I sat on his patio drinking cognac. We cold hear Renee and Tina splashing in the pool on the other side of the house. Lee explained to me how the Summer sun doesn't set in Sweden. I nodded my head in response, but I wasn't listening. As I watched the sunset turn from lemon yellow to a bloody shade of hot pink, all I could think of was "Red in the Morning, Sailors Warning, Red at Night, Sailors Delight". As I made my way home I realized that Lee was right in convincing me to come out. As hard as I tried I couldn't remember what was bothering me earlier this morning. With a little song and little more of his Summer Wine, Lee taught me how to live again.
posted by Derek at 8:20 PM
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